Today will be a 36-hr day.

Today, night will not have its hold on me.
Because i have pumped caffeine into my system; because i will prevail through the toughest hours til my eyes find renewed strength; because a student's got to do what a student's got to do.
I've been at my slackest this semester, and i am currently muddling through a 40% paper that was supposed to be due three days ago!
Oh all right, i admit it...this is the result of my procrastination. YES, AGAIN!!!
-Sigh-
Somebody, slap me. (Ok nonono, pls don't. That was JUST a joke.)

Nonetheless, i am itching to wonder through the night instead. To wonder about my last lecture that happens in less than 7hours' time.
To wonder about my past four years of God's grace in NUS.
To wonder about the experiences that I've gone through in these past four years, and how i transit-ed from teendom into adulthood in this period...

I only had 8mins to soak in reminiscing just now while waiting for pa to fetch me from the mrt, and i realised...
It has truly been a VERY good 4years.

In these 4yrs, i encountered unmerited-favor n undeserved-mercy from God again n again, in periods that i simply could NOT study, even with 10cans of coffee.
It wasn't the eyes that failed me then, it was the heart. Sometimes, even the mind.
In these 4yrs, i met people who blessed my life greatly.
In these 4yrs, i learnt how to love and realised how hard it was to love me.
In these 4yrs, i built up friendships and regained some long-lost ones.
In these 4yrs, i saw miracles--being prayed for that i would not have sinus during my paper and God answered it; finding the exact ans for open-book exams with such ease i knew it wasn't myself. :)
In these 4yrs, i determined to give more than i ever did of my time and strength to serve God, and He prospered me beyond my expectations. Truly, we can never outgive Him.

And then, i also realise something: despite the fact that many people have indeed been a very close part of my life in these 4yrs--some who have came and gone; some who have always been here but are dormant now; and, some who are newcomers--noone could ever really understand and share such moments of reminiscence with me.
Noone...except God.
And standing there alone by the road, silent in my thoughts, i realised that God is really, really, my ONLY best friend.
There is not a moment in my life that was without His Presence, that He did not know of, that He was unfamiliar about, that He had to hear from someone else regarding the details, that He needed me to explain about. And down to the rawest emotion, the barest thought, no matter how ugly or beautiful it was, He was with me in it.
And He is, and He always will be.
This understanding is beyond me; It blows my mind!

-Psalm 139-

And so, being the melancholic that i am, especially so when it's all quiet and dark now, i am already missing tomorrow's last lecture.
It IS really such a privilege to be a student.
Of course, i could attend a class again: courses at church, crash a module lecture, etc.
But you know it just isn't the same.
When i'm no longer a student and it isn't my real role to be in a class and studying.

Ok, i am starting to babble... Back to work, jeanie.
Back to work. For the Glory of God.

Day 2. Wasn't too bad either. Suspicion: It may be the hectic schedule n allowance of increased caffeine intake.