To give what we can never keep, to gain what we can never lose.

I always thought that money's not much of an issue to me. I always thought that it's easy for me to part with mammon cuz there were occasions i could spend so much on people i love. But a few occasions did make me wary, though i brushed them aside as involving other issues--being taken for granted, de cun jin chi...etc.

But today, I finally came to terms with this great weakness. It was a very small issue, but i found this deep darkness rising up within my heart, and the ones around me surely did not notice it. I am ashamed, cuz sometimes i act too well. But God knows my heart. I asked for resolution and the ability to let it go, but i simply couldn't.
It's such a small amount, Jeanie. Come on..!?!?

Yet later, while listening to CHC's Crossing Over, this line just spoke to me that i had to listen to it twice.
"To give what we can never keep, to gain what we can never lose."
Amen!
My heart went. At last, i surrendered and let go.
Money, for one, is something i can NEVER keep. What foolishness it would be to think it can secure me.

I won't say God is done with me in this aspect. It's just my first step; but at least, it's my first. Til the day of perfection, here's encouraging one and all to not hold onto tangibles that fade to dust and have nothing that we can count on.

As Jesus once said,
"Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?" Luke 16:11
I hear You, Lord.